Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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