i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
