I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
