Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
