Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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