There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
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She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
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And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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