DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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