ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
