and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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