I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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