How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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