I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
