you guys were way drunker than both of me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
