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Scissors
Fuck
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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