I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
