but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
