If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
