Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
