Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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