dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
