please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
