Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
