it's like iHOP with fire
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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