and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
