It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
