Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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