My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
