i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
