im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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