I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize