just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I need moral support for this bender
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Just puked most of my soul out..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
