ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome

  (914): View more from New York

  i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"

  Fav 26 2572 854

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.

  Fav 13 927 3181

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (909): View more from California

  dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

  Fav 11 903 3751

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.

  Fav 26 6412 1214

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.

  Fav 20 4042 1505

  share tweet
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once

  Fav 14 4524 2143

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (305): View more from Florida

  If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?

  Fav 22 1934 5181

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.

  Fav 6 2878 1291

  share tweet
  

• (845): View more from New York

  No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back

  Fav 5 2421 1019

  share tweet
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?

  Fav 7 1581 637

  share tweet
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created

  Fav 5 911 620

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (847): View more from Illinois

  As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.

  Fav 0 767 483

  share tweet
  

• (386): View more from Florida

  ELLEHCIM

  (386): View more from Florida

  NYRMAK

  (386): View more from Florida

  DRAHCIR

  (1-386): View more from Florida

  WHAT??

  Fav 3 112 97

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??

  Fav 0 46 5

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!

  Fav 0 5 27

  share tweet
  

Randomize