and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
