Got a toothbrush?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
