She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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