saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't deserve a penis
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
