the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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