There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She said her name was "party"
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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