OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
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