I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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