i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
