Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
only if we run a train.
done.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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