i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize