margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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