Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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