Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize