I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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