Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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