Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
