Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
