i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
