i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
40s are totally the cure
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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