omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like death gave me a hand job
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
