ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations