I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"