OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
These tits shall not be calmed
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize