bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
