Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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